Editorial by HP Wilder | The Watertown Post
Well folks, it’s official: half of Watertown and most of the North Country just got banned from attending a free concert by a band most people thought broke up when MySpace was still a thing. Ronnie Winter—lead singer of The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, a name that sounds like something you’d wear during a moon landing or a dental procedure—has declared that anyone who supports a certain orange-tinged former president is “not allowed” at his shows.
Oh no. However will we cope?
Let’s break this down. A guy from Florida with a flat iron and a savior complex is throwing a hissy fit on Instagram because Jesus told him that Central and Northern New Yorkers who believe in strong borders, cheaper gas, and not mutilating their kids aren’t welcome at his emo singalongs. Got it. That tracks.
Now this would be funny if it weren’t so tragic—or maybe it is funny because it is so tragic. Here’s a dude who built a career off one angsty song in 2006 that got played in a montage on “The Hills” and now thinks he’s the Archbishop of Chevy Court. Meanwhile, we in Watertown live about 90 minutes from the fairgrounds, and judging by the dozens of trucks, flags, and hard workers seen daily, I’d say Winter’s going to be performing for roughly seven people and a funnel cake vendor.
Let’s be honest: the guy sounds less like a rocker and more like a youth pastor who discovered TikTok and soy lattes at the same time. “You’re going to hear a lot of woke propaganda,” he warns. Oh goodie. Because that’s exactly what people want while standing in line for fried pickles—another unsolicited sermon about inclusion from a guy whose target audience is now in their 40s and taking ibuprofen for crowd anxiety.
And let’s not overlook the irony. This modern-day messiah claims he’s all about “unity.” Just not the kind where you allow political diversity at your concert. He talks about acceptance—as long as you vote how he wants. Sounds less like the Gospel of Jesus and more like the Book of Pelosi.
What’s even more laughable is that the State Fair folks immediately issued a statement saying “everyone is welcome.” Translation: “Please ignore the dude in the eyeliner. We still want your money.”
Here in Watertown, where half the people believe in a little thing called tolerance. That means you don’t get banned from a concert for your vote, your values, or your lawn sign. And let’s face it: Ronnie Winter banning the half of Jefferson County that still goes to church and owns Carhartt is like Burger King banning cows—just bad for business.
So go ahead, Ronnie. Screech into your microphone about love, light, and leftism while the rest of us head to the tractor pulls, enjoy some real country music, and laugh about the guy who mistook Chevy Court for the Sermon on the Mount.
We won’t be attending your show—but not because we’re not allowed.
Because we’re not interested.
— HP Wilder, Editor-in-Chief, The Watertown Post
God bless the Great New York State Fair—and pass the fried dough.
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